Bent Knee

by Bent Knee

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1.
Urban Circus 05:00
Push my head against the window Stare into the blank Snowflakes dampen all my happiness The heat they burn does not reach me inside I see only dark in the light The sun does not rise high enough to burn the dark away The moon is not quite bright enough the stars are scatterbrained I run outside and search in vain Battling winds that try to constrain Looking for anything that brings me back what’s restricted in my brain But I draw only blanks and lose faith in this game Where is my sun, where is my sun? It’s all gray The sun does not rise high enough to burn the dark away The moon is not quite bright enough the stars are scatterbrained The sun does not rise high enough to burn the dark away The moon is not quite bright enough the stars are scatterbrained Look, it’s all gray
2.
Turn up the music as you’re crying in your room Drown out the fighting of the bride and groom Caught in between they both think you’re on their side When you’re just waiting for the shouting to subside Generations of broken vows Congregations of drawn arms But let’s all put on a happy face Pretend that we’re not the ones at fault No, we’re not confrontational No, we’re not being difficult No, we’re not irresponsible The situation’s under control You just don’t listen to me anymore You just look the other way when I call No, it’s not my fault that I don’t love you anymore Seems too early but you’re going to decide That it’s not worth trying to fix the broken kind You’re just hoping that when it comes, your time, That you’ll be happy for the rest of your life No, no, no, no, no, I don’t love you anymore No, no, no, no, no, I don’t love you anymore To have and to hold, from this day forward, For better or for worse, for rich or for poor, Through sickness and through health, to love and to cherish, I don’t love you anymore No, we’re not confrontational No, we’re not being difficult No, we’re not irresponsible The situation’s under control You just don’t listen to me anymore You just look the other way when I call No, it’s not my fault that I don’t love you anymore
3.
Funeral 04:23
I will not attend your funeral I will not be there to morn I do not like the smell of flowers I do not like the weight of dark flowers Look what love does to me I will not attend your funeral I will not worship your bones I do not like you when your hands are cold I do not like you when your eyes are closed Look what love does to me I will not accept your betrayal I will not be left alone How could I go on without you You are my creator aren’t you Aren’t you, you are my creator aren’t you Aren’t you, you’re the one that teaches me aren’t you Aren’t you, you’re the one that guides me aren’t you Aren’t you, you’re the one that guards me aren’t you Aren’t you, you’re the one that loves me aren’t you Aren’t you, you’re the one that saves me aren’t you So please, don’t let me know when you die (‘cause I don’t want to know) And I’ll keep writing to you now and then (just like I always do) I’ll be accept when you don’t respond, and I...
4.
You’ve been scratching at the back of my head In my dreams you’ve been lurking in my bed I’ve been begging, pleading, wishing you’re the cure for my condition You’re the beast that paints my room bright red You’ve been tapping, banging, smashing on my door Knock my brains out leave them leaking on the floor I’ve been choking, coughing, sneezing, you smoke into the air I’m breathing Got a feeling that I’ve been this way before In your mouth I see lines as they run down to your heart And the sight of your lips turning white from a kiss And the words that you say as you turn me away You know, I think I’ve been this way before. I took a bucket and I filled it with some ants That I picked up while they scurried on the ground I drove them straight to your place to see the look on your face But when I got there you were nowhere to be found I searched through every crack and every pore And as I brushed away the dust on your drawer I saw your family picture and your wife.... I bet you missed her I know I must have been this way before On your face I see lines withered melting over time So erotic your decay, slowly thinning away And the words that I say as your hair turns to gray I know I must have been this way before La la la la la...
5.
I won’t miss you in bad weather, sometimes it will rain I can melt our memories and pour them down the drain I can rip into your chest and stop the pulse within And I won’t think of you again ‘til the loneliness sets in Ah... And I won’t wake up in a sweat, ashamed and freezing cold I won’t recall the day we met, and how you made me whole And I won’t hold on to the love we shared. and all that could have been, And I won’t think of you again ‘til the hopelessness sets in Ah... And when I wake up, I will miss you in bad weather I will miss you in bad weather I will miss you in bad weather I will miss you in bad weather
6.
Little specks of calcium, crumble from your breath Words that fly like catapults, leave me paralyzed and deaf Pupils still a beating heart, skin doused in beads of sweat You peel away my disguise, exposing naked flesh Invade, you invade me Piercing radiance, I have no defense I can’t stand to see Depp within my self I am nothing else But you are cold, frozen, cold frozen (And you are burning me alive) Secrets whispered violently, spit grazes my ear Vibrations run down my spine, as you pin me here I would give you anything, but you tear it all away You can keep that part of me, I hate it anyways Invade, you invade me Piercing radiance, I have no defense I can’t stand to see Depp within my self I am nothing else But you are cold, frozen, cold frozen (And you are burning me alive)
7.
I gave her a fake smile, she threw me a real frown Styrofoam heart buried in the ground I ask her how she felt, she told me she didn’t know When the water rises high where will she be, who will I hold Everything is crumbling, decaying, falling apart We let this happen in the first place (we were fragile from the start) Aliens in our own skin, stranger in our neighborhood Hope the last two people on earth will Love each other like no one could Love each other like no one could I wrote her a letter on laminated paper A dripping mess of marker all around And when she opened the message, and just could not read it She stormed outside and threw it on the ground Everything is crumbling, decaying, falling apart We let this happen in the first place (we were fragile from the start) Aliens in our own skin, strangers in our neighborhood Hope the last two people on earth will Love each other like no one could Love each other like no one could She dug up my cold white heart and dropped it in my hands She looked away from me and said she couldn’t understand How could I hide this for so long, I kept it here for years I let it rot beneath our feet, suppressing all my tears She put out her cigarette, and reached for another Styrofoam heart in my hand, melting in the sun
8.
Nave 05:26
Do you rise in the dark Do you sink in the mud Does the air weigh you down Do you wish sometimes do you wish that you’d just drown I’ve been a liar, and you are much wiser But I’m trying to reach out to you And if you loathe me for all the things that I do Just know that I will always love you (because you’re my only one) Do the spirits help you forget about it all Do the embers make you feel good only for so long Do the ashes make your body wheeze and complain as it strains Trapped and smothered in a torturous state The strength of your heart that does not break From the weight of life that chokes you in its wake You are so brave, you are so brave Untie, untie this wretched knot Are you caught between the dark and the dawn Are you left with a blank canvas after all you’ve drawn Does your face stare back in the dead depths of the mirror Are you looking for an edge, a sharp edge that will cut it all away But it’s only more pain, it’s another part of you bleeding you away You don’t look at me but I have two hands willing to help you Untie that wretched knot that’s eating you away

credits

released September 27, 2011

Written by Ben Levin and Courtney Swain
Arranged & Performed by Bent Knee
Produced & Mixed by Vince Welch
Engineered by Adam Brass and Chris Ray
Recorded at Mercenary Audio, Big T Productions & The Record Co
Mastered by Randy Roos at Squam Sound
©2011 Bent Knee

Bent Knee is:
Ben Levin - Guitar
Chris Baum - Violin
Courtney Swain - Vocals & Keyboards
Jessica Kion - Bass & Vocals
Gavin Wallace-Ailsworth - Drums
Vince Welch - Production & Sound Design

www.bentkneemusic.com

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Bent Knee Boston, Massachusetts

A band occupying sonic territory entirely their own, Bent Knee continues to break ground with each successive album, a record maintained with 2019’s extraordinary "You Know What They Mean". The Boston outfit’s myriad influences are distilled into a deeply moving art-form that defies categorization, merging texture and style into music that’s thrilling, addictive, and unapologetically original. ... more

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